Xena: See how calm the surface of the water is. That was me once. And then [she throws a stone in the water] the water ripples and churns. That's what I became. Gabrielle: But if we sit here long enough it will go back to being still again; go back to being calm. Xena: But the stone is still under there. It's now part of the lake. It might look as it did before, but it's forever changed.
(Warning: If you aren't good when it comes to understanding figurative speech, this is not a good blog entry for you to read)
This quote from Xena made me think about how much we actually know about other people when we talk to them - even if we have known them for many years. If we would see every person as a lake, a river or maybe even as an ocean, we would always only be able to see the surface. Unless we get to know someone very well, we will not have any idea how many stones are underneath the surface (which may be calm or churning).
If you meet someone who is very calm and seems to be a very quiet person, how do you know what the reason for their calmness is and whether there aren't any violent currents underneath the calm surface? How would you know whether you aren't facing a person that has had many stones thrown at him/her?
On one hand, I always try to be aware of the fact that EVERYONE has stones under the surface of their lake/river/ocean but on the other hand, I do not like it when people dig out those stones and try to throw them at others (i.e. by saying: "But he/she had THAT happen to him/her, he/she can't help it but be like that").
Back to the quote from Xena: What she wanted to say is that influences in your life will change you - no matter whether they are good or bad. However, often the influences cannot be seen by others - and the changes are only obvious to yourself and maybe the people who are very close to you.
One of the main things that can be disturbed,changed and even destroyed by the "stones" that are thrown into your lake/river/ocean is trust - and that is something, people will not be able to see with their eyes. Once they have done something to lose your trust, they might not even know about it - and if they have thrown such a big stone, they might not even care.
Another thing that can be hit hard by the stones life or people throw at you is hope. When the first bad stone hits you, the surface of your lake might churn a lot, you might hurt a lot and it might also be very obvious for others. With each additional stone, however, your reactions become calmer, not that obvious anymore - because your hope is getting smaller and smaller, i.e. it does not have much power anymore, it cannot continue to fight against the stones that are thrown at you.
What is it like in your life if you compared your life to a lake? And yes, I would indeed be interested in your comments because I would actually like to get some people talking on my blog. Right now, it feels like I'm only talking to myself.
When I was writing a blog it was a very strange feeling, that I saw the statistics of people visiting, but got very few comments. It felt like people spying on me, I felt it like hostility. I think people with good intentions, and people who care definitly comment, at least sometimes. (Doesn't matter what, just something.)
ReplyDeleteThis throwing of stones is a strange thing, usually those get them, who are already wounded, who are down. But at least we know who is who. Brothers are born in hardships. Although birth rate seems to be very much down nowadays.
Nevertheless I've heard recently, that everyone may have a fight, we may not know about, so we should be kind always. I do not succeed in that every time. I should practice... To be kind, to absorb the hits and forgive, and defend my position, my freedom, or just turn around and leave. This latter does not always work, and I think should be used only if nothing else works, otherwise we may arrive to the point, that no place is left for us in this world.
Very interesting post, Kim. : ))
Yes, I know what you are talking about. There is a quote by Ian Mclaren: “Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.” It sometimes is changed and attributed to more famous thinkers (misquoting happens to often in the time of the internet). While I do believe that many people fight a battle, I think that not all people fight very hard internal battles with philosophical questions. Many people simply have no interest in looking under the surface and seeing more meaning, asking meaningful questions.
DeleteThank you for the quote. I like originals. I agree with you however, that probably many people do not have the hard battle inside, or have a wrong kind of battle, and anyway even having the battle, does not legitimize being a thug to others, and abuse the compassion and kindness of others. We have to be pitiful, but also we have to defend ourselves, draw the line sometimes. This keeps me thinking about the picture from Xena. It seems to reflect a kind of helplessness. What if we are not meant to be calm and still all the time? Stones can slide on water, it all depends on speed and angle, and stones can be destroyed by water. We can not control how the stones are thrown, but we may be able to control the water. What if we could create waves and slap the stones away, and if we fail, we could consume them, grind them away, into soft sand by our deep currents, just by knowing, that stones of injustice, stones of iniquities have no place in us?
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