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The Pukeko

Unfortunately, the Pukeko is not doing very well at the moment. Yesterday, I was sure he would die and I felt like I was the murderer - yes, people tell me not to blame myself, but who else would there be to blame? The bird came to me and I'm just not good at taking care of birds. I'm a bird watcher, not a bird care-taker.

Thanks to my friend, the bird made it through the night - but he's still not eating (the bird, not the friend). Drinking lots of water with some good stuff in it - but the memory of Sam dying after he didn't eat for a whole day is still fresh in my memory. If that bird dies, I'll never take care of another bird again - I'm just killing them!

Yesterday was a very hard day for me, emotionally - and I hate being emotional, esp. when there are other people around. I guess, it all just came together: the broken heart, the memory of dead Sam and the worries about the Pukeko. Right now, I wish I could just go into a forest and be alone -esp. in the current situation it's a little hard for me to deal with people because I need to control myself so much.

What would Xena do? I guess, she would simply care more about herself and not put everyone else first. She would be a little more confident, more assertive and certainly more in control of the whole situation.

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