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Valentine's Day - What about the broken-hearted, the lonely, and the rebels?

 Valentine's Day - it's like Christmas, Easter, and other "holidays": you simply can't escape it. Even bookshops that are usually a place of retreat for me do not know any mercy. Heart-shaped items and lots of red and pink decorations declaring that it's Valentine's Day soon, and that you need to buy something for the love of your life, are everywhere. The day - and also Christmas - makes me wonder why people need a special occasion to show their love (if something like love actually exists). 

If you really cared about someone, shouldn't you show them more often than just once a year? Wouldn't it be nicer if you surprised them with something lovely on a day they do not expect it? But I guess, there is a lot of pressure on couples to be a couple on Valentine's Day. And I also guess many women would not forgive it easily if their partner didn't do something special for them on Valentine's Day. It's just something I don't understand, it seems like such a materialistic "holiday". It's all about presents, like a mini-version of Christmas, just excluding the family this time, and just focusing on lovers. 

And Valentine's Day usually makes a whole lot of people feel quite uncomfortable. I know, I am included in that group. Even though I don't think much about forced displays of love on holidays, I can't help but feeling a bit down when holidays like that are around. Society has a way of making people like me feel like we are the lowest people on society's ladder.
I know very well that there is no love in my life. Christmas and all the commercial blah blah around it already reminded me, thank you very much. My birthday also reminded me. People like me just don't need something like Valentine's day to make us feel even worse. And we don't need all those happy couples look at us as if we're aliens or even worse - look at us with such pity in their eyes. Yes, I know there is no love in my life. I also know there most likely won't ever be any (because I have the fantastic talent to love people who don't return the love - so I try to not even start with feelings like that). But do I always need to be reminded of it by outside forces? No. 

Why is there always such a focus on holidays like these? Is it because single people, broken-hearted people, and people who simply don't care about love aren't interesting for companies? If companies really wanted, they could most likely commercialize singleness, too. Maybe sell life-sized teddy bears..... 

How do you deal with Valentine's Day? And if you are in a relationship: Do you really think just showing your love on one day a year is enough?









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  1. Elrond HalfelvenFebruary 6, 2015 at 12:35 PM

    I feel for you. I know it's not easy. Take it from someone who's been single all her life. Valentine's Day is easily my least favorite holiday, but I try to view it as an occasion to express my love and appreciation for family and friends. Or I just ignore it altogether.

    It's largely by choice, my lifelong singleness. I have experienced feelings one might call "love" once in my life (I was 11), though I guess I'd be more apt to call feelings at such an age "infatuation." After that, I just decided I wasn't going to settle for the first guy who came along. Self-respect and possibly a bit of pride facilitated that, and I've never regretted not throwing myself before whichever male might have me.

    I honestly think we intellectual women have to wait a bit longer for the men our age to mature to a similar level, where attraction is no longer based mostly in looks and "feminine wiles" and becomes more about compatibility. In the meantime, just focus on what interests you, and continue to develop yourself. You are a very special, talented person, and if there is someone out there who deserves you, they're worth waiting for.

    In the interim, it's just a matter of surviving all the annoying holidays that punish singles. :) *hugs*

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    Replies
    1. WairuanorFebruary 7, 2015 at 12:49 AM

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I also like your attitude, and I know how hard it can be to stick to that - people around you start talking if you stay single (I know that from experience, too), and make up the strangest rumours about you.

      Stick to your conviction. Men are not worth throwing all your ideals over board - and the right one will not ever even think about asking you to do so. I hope you will find someone, because you are the ideal package. The guy who'll win your heart will be such a lucky man!

      Delete

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