Don't let others define you - know your OWN values

Do you know your own values or are you defined by what you "should" be? Other people have ideas about how we are supposed to be ever since we were little. Be reliable, be punctual, be caring, be friendly, be social, etc. We each have learned what kind of values are expected. Our families, friends, teachers, bosses, and co-workers are often quite influential - sometimes so much that we don't feel quite right, never know our own values, or hide them because we feel like they are not valued by other people.

People who know their own values, and act accordingly are usually the people you look up to, and who feel different from the others. How many do you know? I.e. the people who don't define themselves by other people's value, and who do not define themselves by their success or their financial possessions?

Being a person who is different from others is not always easy, but knowing your own values helps you a lot. They can be your inner compass, and they will show you the right way when "thinking you" and "feeling you" are at war once more. If you know your values - your very OWN values - then you will usually know what to do and which decisions to make.

I know that my top values are loyalty (above all others), honesty, reliability, creativity, respect, and kindness towards animals (yes, you've read right - and people who are kind to animals are usually kind people in general). Those values have helped me to make some decisions during the last days. I had to ask myself many questions, and fortunately was able to find answers to them. One of the questions was whether I should let people treat me like a pigeon or duck in the park: throw a few crumbs every now and then, laugh at the antics of the animal, and then walk away again, thinking that the ducks will always be there next time they return. The answer was a clear no. I value loyalty and reliability - and they are top values for me. Other people do not put those two values up so high, and that just clashes with my values. I had to be honest to myself - not always easy, but necessary. Remember my other post about saying no so that you can say yes when the right things happen? I listened to my own advice this time.

What about you? Do you use your values as a compass? How willing are you to let others use your values as a doormat?

Kenny Wizz vs Navi vs Ben - Can there be only one #1 Michael Jackson tribute artist?

Last night, I have been to a place called Stevenage to watch a Michael Jackson tribute artist called Ben . He was one of only two UK tribute artists I found interesting and promising enough to spend money on a ticket, transport, and accommodation (it's too difficult to travel back home with public transport at night). Now that I have seen three different Michael Jackson tribute artists in person, I would like to write about what they have in common, what made each of them stand out, and then answer the question: Is there really a number one? Did one of the two UK tributes manage to do something Kenny did not do? If you have read my old writings about Kenny, you know that he's very special (at least to me). I will have a look at their looks, their energy during the performance, the song selection, the costumes, the singing (or lack of it), the moves, the band & the dancers, the overall feel of the concert, and the meet & greet after the shows. In

Seeking and finding motivation - It needs to come from within

I have known for a long time that motivation is something that needs to come from within yourself. At least genuine motivation needs to come from within your own soul - it is the only kind of motivation that will last. Even though I have known this, I found (and still find) it very hard to keep myself motivated, to keep the spark within alive, to not let the world and the people in it kill my dreams. As a writer, I also read a lot. Most books are dedicated to other people, or have some sort of acknowledgment page where authors thank people who support them, people who keep them going, people who motivate them, and so on. For a very long time, I have wished I would have people I could use for these pages. I was wondering whom I would dedicate my books to, whom I would thank. But I could only ever think of fictional and/or famous characters. In real life, there is nobody who supports me with my writing and shows a genuine interest in my ideas or progress (of which there isn't that

Why work harder when there's no reward at all?

I am rather demotivated at the moment. Why work harder than other people if other people in the end get more for less work? Two volunteers who work a lot less than I do (also as a volunteer) get taken to see a castle this weekend, while I have to work. One of those two is being taken to the second castle. He's been taken on a day trip before. While I have been here since November and haven't been taken anywhere once. Usually, volunteers work five hours a day. But because I am really committed to the animals, I usually work six hours, often seven or eight (as a volunteer, so it's not like I get any money for extra hours). So I work more, but get less in return. How is that fair? It's just my life. I often put in so much effort into things, but get nothing in return. I feel like giving up. Why be reliable and hard working if it's just taken for granted? Why put in more effort when people who slack get all the rewards and extra attention?

AnonymousApril 19, 2015 at 2:03 AM
I think one thing is sure, honesty is #1. If we have that, than we can find our paths. Finding the proper mix of values seems to depend on loving and accepting ourselves and others. After all this should be our final purpose. It is true, that when we are kids, we are usually too week to withstand against external expectations, and by the time we grow up, we have all kinds of bondages upon us, and it is a lot of work getting rid of them. Getting rid of the false values and loyalties, which are there in our posessions, habits, and relationships, and it is a hard fight inside us, because of the contradicting values in us, those we can not have the same time. Some things are just simply excluding each other. You are right, things get real simple, when this job is done.

Spirit of the River

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