Sometimes, a voice inside of you tells you something - you know that things will develop a certain way. Your intuition, your guts, your heart, whatever talks to you in those moments, tells you. Sometimes we do not want to accept that we already know things. We hope that they might turn out differently - that our inner voice is wrong. And then, a while later, things do indeed turn out the way we thought right in the beginning. Does this ever happen to you? If yes, do you trust your inner voice, or do you go against it?
In the last four months, I knew that there was a development going on that would mean something negative for me. I KNEW it, I just knew. I did not want to believe it. I hoped against all odds that my inner voice was wrong, and that I would be proven wrong. That for once things would have a more positive ending for me - instead of me having to watch other people having a happy ending (not the first time that this happened). Unfortunately, I was not wrong. Now I tell myself I should have stopped contact to certain people in my life ages ago, instead of holding on to wrong beliefs.
There is also something else I had a strong response from my inner voice - about a certain person I deal with almost every day - but that time it seemed to be completely wrong. The outcome, if the voice would have been right, would have been a positive one. One that would have been a balance to the bad development. I was hoping for a new friend, but the last few days have shown that this is just not possible.
So how do you know when your inner voice is right? To me, it seems to be most often the case when it is about things going wrong. Maybe the other inner voice is just a hopeful dreamer who would love to see things go a certain way. That voice is often wrong.
At the moment, I am at the stage where I just want to completely give up on people. I am too old for all those games. For the lies. The throwing of a few crumbs. For seeing other people have a happy ending while I am just the third wheel. For being just a gap filler if there was time where nobody else was available. I am worth more than that. At least in my own eyes. For other people, of course, I am not worth more. Isn't it better then to focus on animals and books?
In the last four months, I knew that there was a development going on that would mean something negative for me. I KNEW it, I just knew. I did not want to believe it. I hoped against all odds that my inner voice was wrong, and that I would be proven wrong. That for once things would have a more positive ending for me - instead of me having to watch other people having a happy ending (not the first time that this happened). Unfortunately, I was not wrong. Now I tell myself I should have stopped contact to certain people in my life ages ago, instead of holding on to wrong beliefs.
There is also something else I had a strong response from my inner voice - about a certain person I deal with almost every day - but that time it seemed to be completely wrong. The outcome, if the voice would have been right, would have been a positive one. One that would have been a balance to the bad development. I was hoping for a new friend, but the last few days have shown that this is just not possible.
So how do you know when your inner voice is right? To me, it seems to be most often the case when it is about things going wrong. Maybe the other inner voice is just a hopeful dreamer who would love to see things go a certain way. That voice is often wrong.
At the moment, I am at the stage where I just want to completely give up on people. I am too old for all those games. For the lies. The throwing of a few crumbs. For seeing other people have a happy ending while I am just the third wheel. For being just a gap filler if there was time where nobody else was available. I am worth more than that. At least in my own eyes. For other people, of course, I am not worth more. Isn't it better then to focus on animals and books?
I think I have two kinds of this guidance. One is, when I have those little glimpses of thoughts, like "put your cell phone into your pocket, (because later you will forget it)", and if I don't do it, later after leaving home I might realise, that I have forgotten it at home... : ))
ReplyDeleteThe other type is a kind of unconscious, not a thought more like a feeling, like when I seek something, and I have no Idea where it could be, but suddenly I arrive there, and it is right before me....
I have been in situations, when I knew, I felt I do not fit in, it is not the right place for me, but I couldn't change, I just waited till the end...and there were times when I stood up and left..., but I don't have clear evidence which is better, it probably depends on how serious, how compromising the situation is, sometimes may be better to stand up right away, sometims we may try to stay and learn from the situation. Probably there is no place in this world where we would fit perfectly, after all.
I think we must seek reality, truth, and if it is a hidden part of reality, we must follow guidelines, values, and we must not let intuition guide us "freely". It is not reliable, just by itself. Our intention should be breaking false habits and ideas, and finding the right ones.
No news is bad news. I just hope, not my stupid comments made you leave....How are you?
ReplyDeletePlease do not worry, my soul and heart are just too distracted at the moment to focus on any writing. I am very useless at the moment.
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