Spirit of the River

During the last few days, I noticed an increased number of messages that went along the line of "follow your heart" or "trust what your heart is telling you".  A fortune cookie I opened today (a real one, i.e. not online) told me: "Do what you have been longing to do". This makes me wonder: Is it always right to follow your heart? Of course, I can see the point in all the positive messages that would like to encourage people to trust in their own heart, in their beliefs and their dreams. I used to be someone who believed that the heart is a very important guide and that it could take you into the right direction. But now I am not so sure about it anymore because my heart is telling me things that can't be. I will not tell you what it is in my heart as it is a long story and it is not something I would want to share with too many people (even though this blog is not very frequented, there will always be some visitors who are strangers to me and ...

Here I am - taking a break from writing... and what do I do? I write even more. This morning, on my way to the supermarket, one of the local black-backed seagulls was flying along my side for a short distance and I was wondering about the life of seagulls. I wondered whether they have similar problems to human beings or whether their life is easier on an emotional level. Of course, there are people who say that animals do not have emotions but I believe that birds have souls and that they are very intelligent. I think that we simply never really studied seagulls closely enough - at least I have never seen anything written about the social life of seagulls (apart from the usual stuff life breeding, nesting etc.). However, when you watch seagulls, you will notice that they all have different characters. Some are more careful than others and there are always a few seagulls who could be called "unpopular". They try to be part of the group but often get picked on. It might just...

As hardly anyone is seriously reading this blog anyway, I might as well just use it as a place to simply write when no other place feels appropriate for writing. Right now, I wouldn't know where or who to turn to if I wanted to talk to someone - so I turn to the internet even though that's not really much communication. I see the words appearing on the screen, but at the same moment I also know that they won't really reach anyone. Which makes me wonder: is the internet a curse or a blessing for people like me? Isn't the internet just another place that can make people feel like there's no one to talk to? When you look at your different profiles and in-boxes and there is nothing for you from anyone, doesn't it just add to the loneliness that already exists in real life?

Every single one of us will at some stage have a thought like: "If only I had not done this..." or "What if I had done this differently?" I have asked myself questions like that quite a lot during the last few months, esp. during the last few days - which is silly because I know perfectly well that there is no way to ever turn back time. And if we could, wouldn't we at the same time also erase all of the knowledge we have collected? Time travel, however, would of course be a different story: what if you could travel back to one point in your life with all the knowledge you have now? To which time in your life would you go? Would you have a bad conscience about the things you changed? I guess, it's not much point thinking about this - and we certainly should not live in the past, however, looking at your past and learning from it, is a good thing. You need to understand your own history and see where you have gone wrong. It's always hard to admit tha...