Spirit of the River

Most of us do have role models in our life. For some of us, they are members of our family. For some of us our biggest role model is one of our friends. For some of us, the biggest role models are famous people from various careers. Then there are people who claim to not have any role model - but that is a different story. To me, my role models were mainly people from the world of music and acting. I simply had nobody in my family who was suitable as a person to look up to. There were alcoholics and people who stood by, doing nothing. As a young kid, my escape was the world of music, books, and TV. In there, I found people who had courage, who were well-spoken, encouraging, creative, and in a way always there for me. The first two important role models who entered my life were Captain Jean-Luc Picard , portrayed by the fantastic Patrick Stewart, and Michael Jackson . Jean-Luc Picard was someone I wished to be my father - and you have to admit the man makes a rather good role-mo...

Warning: This is another unedited post. I just wrote down some of the things that are on my mind. Sorry for any mistakes - but this post is what it is!  Most of us make the mistake of trying to impress other people - and often we do stupid things to be "liked": we drink too much to be accepted we speak words that should not be spoken just to fit in we hide who we really are we go to parties we do not want to go to we take part in activities we do not enjoy we basically let other people lead us around on a leash - like a puppy. This is all wrong. Do you really think the people who need to be impressed in that manner are the right people to have around? Do they make you happy? Do they feed out their affection to you as if they were throwing crumbs to pigeons in a park (thanks to Darren Hayes for that image)? Then they might not be the right people to have in your life. I found that you need to make sure that you YOURSELF can look into the mirror, at your ac...

The regular readers of my blog now that things have been going downhill for me in the last few weeks. There was a hole in my heart from which hope was constantly draining. Or rather: there were so many cracks in it that nothing could be done to keep it either from breaking apart or turning into a hollow shell. A dream Then, about a week ago, I had a dream that I only partially remembered when I woke up. The most vivid part of it was that I stood at the side of a stranger at night time. It was not truly dark, the colours around us were mainly blue, purple, and black. And of course the white stars in the sky. The stranger was a man I had never seen before, yet he seemed very familiar. I know that he was some sort of spiritual guide in that dream as the surroundings were quite unreal. The closest explanation would be a black sand beach at night with a very interestingly coloured sky. There was no ocean though. It was a very unusual location for one of my dreams. I had never been ...