Spirit of the River

Do you know your own values or are you defined by what you "should" be? Other people have ideas about how we are supposed to be ever since we were little. Be reliable, be punctual, be caring, be friendly, be social, etc. We each have learned what kind of values are expected. Our families, friends, teachers, bosses, and co-workers are often quite influential - sometimes so much that we don't feel quite right, never know our own values, or hide them because we feel like they are not valued by other people. People who know their own values, and act accordingly are usually the people you look up to, and who feel different from the others. How many do you know? I.e. the people who don't define themselves by other people's value, and who do not define themselves by their success or their financial possessions?  Being a person who is different from others is not always easy, but knowing your own values helps you a lot. They can be your inner compass, and the...

Do you know the old Bee Gees song "Words" (it has also been covered by Boyzone, and I find that version a bit easier to listen to). It is partially about the meaning of words, how words can change someone's heart, how they can win a heart, how important that they be, but also that the other person might not believe a thing the other says. When words are all you have If you have been following my blog (either here on the old version on Wordpress), then you know that I love words, I love languages, I love books, I love meaningful lyrics, I love writing. However, at the moment, words also make me sad - because if words are indeed all you have, then you do not have much at all. If you then also only get the words from strangers (i.e. from songs, from books, from strangers you meet on the internet because your "friends" don't care), then it is even worse, because of course those strangers do not know you. They have not written the words with you in mind. The ...

After I decided to continue using this blog instead of my WordPress blog, I had a look at my old posts, and decided to write a follow-up article to one of my most popular posts: about being like Xena. I am not sure whether it is the images or the actual text that attracted visitors, but no matter what the reason is, it has turned into one of the most visited posts on this blog. When I wrote the older post, I was still living in New Zealand, and in a way, I was stuck in a rut. Only now that I am looking back at what I was doing (virtually just being stuck in a daily routine), do I realize that I wasn't getting very close to being like Xena. Yes, I was tough, I was the one people turned to when they needed advice or help, and I dealt with my problems on my own.  But I was not very proactive when it came to changing my life. I was letting other people just treat me the way they wanted to treat me. I accepted negativity, I accepted people taking advantage of me. All because I th...

Being not "good" enough We all want to have friends, we all want to be accepted by others. Unfortunately, some people will not like who you truly are, and you know it. Sometimes we meet people we think we like, maybe because they look a certain way, maybe because they are part of a certain group, maybe because they have a certain position we admire, etc. But when we realize that who we are might not be enough for them to be interested in us, we often try to be someone else. What I learned through experience is this: If you aren't "good" enough for them, then they are also most likely not good for you in the long run. They will drain your energy, they will always make you feel under pressure, and in the end, you won't even like yourself any more. Changing your character for others is not a good idea You are who you are - and that is absolutely okay. Everyone changes over time, everyone develops new skills, new likes, new dislikes, and everyone becomes ...