Spirit of the River

Acceptance, respect, friendship, love, safety - those are things most of us want at a certain level. Some need one of them more than the others, and can live with lower levels of the others. Unfortunately, we often do not get some of those, and some unlucky people struggle their whole life with even feeling safe or accepted in their relationships, be it with friends, family or lovers. We often make compromises, say yes to things we do not want to do - just to please others, make them like us more, make them accept us more, hoping that one day things would be different, and that the constant struggle for TRUE respect and love would be over. Let me get one thing right out of the way: if you have to fight for other people's attention, then just forget about it. They do not care that much. It should not be a constant fight for attention. Respect and love yourself enough to see when you are chasing the wrong person. Everyone who needs chasing IS the wrong person. The right people want...

Being not "good" enough We all want to have friends, we all want to be accepted by others. Unfortunately, some people will not like who you truly are, and you know it. Sometimes we meet people we think we like, maybe because they look a certain way, maybe because they are part of a certain group, maybe because they have a certain position we admire, etc. But when we realize that who we are might not be enough for them to be interested in us, we often try to be someone else. What I learned through experience is this: If you aren't "good" enough for them, then they are also most likely not good for you in the long run. They will drain your energy, they will always make you feel under pressure, and in the end, you won't even like yourself any more. Changing your character for others is not a good idea You are who you are - and that is absolutely okay. Everyone changes over time, everyone develops new skills, new likes, new dislikes, and everyone becomes ...