Spirit of the River

When I still lived in New Zealand, and also during my first year in the UK, I often dreamed dreams that included Lucy Lawless. Not Xena, but the actress herself. Last night, I had a dream that surprised me because I thought my years of dreams about Lucy Lawless were over because the last dream I had about her felt like the end of a series. The dreams were telling me a lot about my life, especially now that I am looking back at them. It once more makes me wonder whether our dreams are more than just random images and stories that come to us at night.  In the beginning: Lucy Lawless as an unapproachable, distant star My dreams in the beginning were usually set during conventions or shows, e.g. concerts during which Lucy was the singer. I was always only part of the audience, and as much as I wanted to talk to Lucy, and ask her questions about life, I never had the chance to get anywhere close to her. I was simply a powerless spectator who wanted something she cou...

After I decided to continue using this blog instead of my WordPress blog, I had a look at my old posts, and decided to write a follow-up article to one of my most popular posts: about being like Xena. I am not sure whether it is the images or the actual text that attracted visitors, but no matter what the reason is, it has turned into one of the most visited posts on this blog. When I wrote the older post, I was still living in New Zealand, and in a way, I was stuck in a rut. Only now that I am looking back at what I was doing (virtually just being stuck in a daily routine), do I realize that I wasn't getting very close to being like Xena. Yes, I was tough, I was the one people turned to when they needed advice or help, and I dealt with my problems on my own.  But I was not very proactive when it came to changing my life. I was letting other people just treat me the way they wanted to treat me. I accepted negativity, I accepted people taking advantage of me. All because I th...