Do you know your own values or are you defined by what you "should" be? Other people have ideas about how we are supposed to be ever since we were little. Be reliable, be punctual, be caring, be friendly, be social, etc. We each have learned what kind of values are expected. Our families, friends, teachers, bosses, and co-workers are often quite influential - sometimes so much that we don't feel quite right, never know our own values, or hide them because we feel like they are not valued by other people.
People who know their own values, and act accordingly are usually the people you look up to, and who feel different from the others. How many do you know? I.e. the people who don't define themselves by other people's value, and who do not define themselves by their success or their financial possessions?
Being a person who is different from others is not always easy, but knowing your own values helps you a lot. They can be your inner compass, and they will show you the right way when "thinking you" and "feeling you" are at war once more. If you know your values - your very OWN values - then you will usually know what to do and which decisions to make.
I know that my top values are loyalty (above all others), honesty, reliability, creativity, respect, and kindness towards animals (yes, you've read right - and people who are kind to animals are usually kind people in general). Those values have helped me to make some decisions during the last days. I had to ask myself many questions, and fortunately was able to find answers to them. One of the questions was whether I should let people treat me like a pigeon or duck in the park: throw a few crumbs every now and then, laugh at the antics of the animal, and then walk away again, thinking that the ducks will always be there next time they return. The answer was a clear no. I value loyalty and reliability - and they are top values for me. Other people do not put those two values up so high, and that just clashes with my values. I had to be honest to myself - not always easy, but necessary. Remember my other post about saying no so that you can say yes when the right things happen? I listened to my own advice this time.
What about you? Do you use your values as a compass? How willing are you to let others use your values as a doormat?
I think one thing is sure, honesty is #1. If we have that, than we can find our paths. Finding the proper mix of values seems to depend on loving and accepting ourselves and others. After all this should be our final purpose. It is true, that when we are kids, we are usually too week to withstand against external expectations, and by the time we grow up, we have all kinds of bondages upon us, and it is a lot of work getting rid of them. Getting rid of the false values and loyalties, which are there in our posessions, habits, and relationships, and it is a hard fight inside us, because of the contradicting values in us, those we can not have the same time. Some things are just simply excluding each other. You are right, things get real simple, when this job is done.
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