Spirit of the River

The regular readers of my blog now that things have been going downhill for me in the last few weeks. There was a hole in my heart from which hope was constantly draining. Or rather: there were so many cracks in it that nothing could be done to keep it either from breaking apart or turning into a hollow shell. A dream Then, about a week ago, I had a dream that I only partially remembered when I woke up. The most vivid part of it was that I stood at the side of a stranger at night time. It was not truly dark, the colours around us were mainly blue, purple, and black. And of course the white stars in the sky. The stranger was a man I had never seen before, yet he seemed very familiar. I know that he was some sort of spiritual guide in that dream as the surroundings were quite unreal. The closest explanation would be a black sand beach at night with a very interestingly coloured sky. There was no ocean though. It was a very unusual location for one of my dreams. I had never been ...

Sometimes things happen in your life, and you wonder whether they are mere coincidences or whether there is more meaning to what happened. After all, many things happen during a day, during a week, etc. Every single hour usually has something else happening in your life - and to some events you never give much importance or thought. But some things happen at certain times, and you ask yourself: "Is this supposed to tell me something?" As I only have very few regular readers on this blog, hardly anyone will have noticed that there has been quite a long gap between a very active time and my latest posts. One fact about me is that it is never a good sign when I stop writing at all. Even if I write something negative, as long as I write, I haven't yet given up on things. The last few weeks were not easy for a variety of reasons, and in the last week especially, things did not look well. However, just that someone took the time to read some of my rather old posts and even ...

I haven't been blogging lately - and so far nobody missed my blog, so I guess it's not such an issue. I need to do some writing this evening, or rather, I would like to talk to someone, but there is nobody who would understand my thoughts, and I won't utter them here either, but it'll be good to just do some writing. I have recently moved (yes, once more).People who know me either online or offline always seem to think my life is easy, and I'm content because I never have a break-down in front of anybody, because I am strong, and because I still manage to appear confident and positive when I interact with people - but basically it is not true. I have tried to explain my situation to people, but they just do not get it simply because they have never experienced anything close to what I have experienced, and after a while, I just give up on trying to explain. It drains my energy even more. I always hoped that one day there would be somebody who truly understand with...