Spirit of the River

My Hobbit holiday After following the progress of the making of the movie (by watching the production videos, reading interviews and articles), I was very eager to finally be able to watch the movie. I had planned a little holiday just for this purpose (and I needed time off anyway). I went to Auckland for three nights and had planned to watch the Hobbit at least twice: once in normal 3D and once in HFR 3D – to see the difference. A lot has been written about the content of the movies. Critics were quite critical and wrote lukewarm reviews. Of which I didn't really read any, because what do I care? I wanted to see Ian McKellen as Gandalf again and nothing a critic would write would have been able to stop me. I was looking forward to the experience and I have to say that I was not disappointed. I ended up watching the movie three times, twice in HFR and once in normal 3D on an IMAX screen. Normal 3D vs. HFR 3D So, did I notice a difference between the two for...

The one at the bottom is Seagull, the one who went missing. What would you prefer? A world full of birds or a world full of people?  Sometimes I feel like animals have a better understanding of the world than people - and they are more connected to the universe. They simply live their live - and birds are most likely very close to the spiritual realm. People, however, are just people. We worry about so many things, mess up so many things, destroy so much, hate so much - so if I had to choose, I'd rather live in a world with animals only! Seagull, one of my favourite pigeons, has not returned. I hope that he is still alive because I don't want to believe that he is dead and maybe even had to suffer.

Some of my readers might know that I have been in love with Japan since I was a child - of course, this love also includes Japanese music, however, not the kind of Japanese music most people might have in mind. Today, I would like to share some of my favourite Japanese music videos with you. Hikaru Utada - Sakura Drops Hikaru is one of the best Japanese singers out there, I'd have to say. Her videos are also always very interesting and nice to watch. My favourite video of her:  Colours.  She is gorgeous in this video and the lyrics are just great! " The mirror reflects the illusion of a spirit. Unnoticed, it picks up speed. It is said that it's okay to go anywhere. A broken wish makes everything all grey. Tonight, a flame flickers and you draw your dream. Isn't the tip of your brush thirsty? If there's no blue sky unfold your blue umbrella. Isn't that good? The canvas is all yours. That time I that I gave up, I only hel...

Xena : See how calm the surface of the water is. That was me once. And then  [ she throws a stone in the water ]  the water ripples and churns. That's what I became.  Gabrielle : But if we sit here long enough it will go back to being still again; go back to being calm.  Xena : But the stone is still under there. It's now part of the lake. It might look as it did before, but it's forever changed. (Warning: If you aren't good when it comes to understanding figurative speech, this is not a good blog entry for you to read) This quote from Xena made me think about how much we actually know about other people when we talk to them - even if we have known them for many years. If we would see every person as a lake, a river or maybe even as an ocean, we would always only be able to see the surface. Unless we get to know someone very well, we will not have any idea how many stones are underneath the surface (which may be calm or churning). If you meet someone who is v...

Wanted - ALIVE Unfortunately, one of my favourite pigeons has not come back from the race last week - remember Seagull, one of the most beautiful pigeons in the photos I recently uploaded to the blog? It's him who's missing. To me, this is more than just bad luck, more than just a coincidence - you might remember that there seems to be a curse on my favourite birds... so I better not choose any favourites anymore.

I have at least 2500 seagull photos on my computer (no joke here, really).  Here are some of them. "You neglected us!!!" Having a bath A black-backed seagull - they are bigger than the others. Walking away Aren't they beautiful?

There has been no talk about proper seagulls for a long time - but I can assure you that they have not been forgotten. I still love them, they are still my favourite birds - even though I have not seen any of them for a long time. Well, I have seen one, but that was while I was in a car and the seagull was far away on a lamp post. There is no competition for seagulls (sorry pigeons).

Today, I would like to share some pigeon photos with you. I hope you will enjoy them. You might notice that some pigeons appear again and again - but that's because they are really special birds! The most special one - Lucy (named after Lucy Lawless because she's such a fighter) Has no name yet because I'm not sure yet whether it is a he or she. Two racing pigeons on the loft's landing board Lucy again! Strider Young race birds taking a bath The pigeon named seagull - you will notice him in some other photos as well! Seagull (that's the pigeon's name) Seagull resting Seagull cleaning himself A pretty one Yay, exciting, let's get into the water!

How we start a day is usually very important for how our day will go - but what gets us going in the mornings? How do you feel when you wake up? Are you full of energy and looking forward to the day or does it take you a while to become motivated? Do you have any rituals?  I am not just asking because I would like to write about how my mornings go - I would like to know how other people get started and whether the people who wake up with a good mood and are full of energy have some kind of secret (apart from very good coffee!). So if you are one of the people who always look forward to every single day: How do you do it? What do you do if you wake up with a bad mood or a mood in which you think: "I don't want to get up! I just want to sleep forever and not deal with anything at all." 

I am sure that there are many people out there who are very good at giving advice and helping other people - but how about the other way around? How good are those people at receiving help, maybe even asking for it? I found that it is often the people who help others a lot who are the people that are actually hurt the most and would need a lot of attention - however, they never really dare to ask for it. What is it like in your life? Are you someone who gives great advice to other people but then can't follow that advice herself/himself? What do you do when you need advice but there is no one to talk to about your problem?

"You've got to take me with you - teach me everything you know." This is one of the lines in the first episode of Xena. Spoken by Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor) to Xena (Lucy Lawless). The rest is history - and a beloved story for many people. Not only in Xena but in many other movies and series I like, the main story lines are often about learning something from other people: be it a skill, be it knowledge or be it the ability to truly love someone. Since I was a child, I had always hoped that I would live a story like in one of the movies, e.g. that a wise Japanese master would turn up in my life, that Michael Jackson would walk around the corner, that someone like one of the Star Trek captains Picard and Janeway would turn up or that someone like Xena would come into my life. I was hoping for someone to be my guide, my teacher - my hope and my rescuer. Now that I am 29, I know that things like that only happen in movies - and when they happen, they do not happen to p...

Songs that fit my life and songs I love As I am listening to music tonight, I thought I would share some of my favourites with you - some of the songs I feel connected to (and I keep it Michael Jackson free because most of his songs have a connection to my life in one way or the other). The Rasmus - Not like the other girls Every time I hear this song, I feel like it has been written for me because it is about a girl "who lives in the clouds and talks to the birds" and who also is "hopeless" and someone "the world has forsaken". It's a very nice song, sung by my favourite band "The Rasmus". They are a Finnish rock band and have some fantastic songs. So far, I have not heard one song of theirs that I did not like. Apart from the one that is linked here, I also like "Ten Black Roses" very much. Hikari Utada - Colors Most of you won't be able to understand the lyrics of this Japanese song but it is a very beautiful...

Merry did not make it - this morning, I found the young pigeon lying in it's nest: dead. I buried it in the afternoon, after I actually did not want to see it ever again. It was a hard day because that bird has meant a lot to me - even though for other people it will be "just a bird". Injured/sick/orphaned birds I took in my care: 3 Birds that survived: 0.....

Yesterday was a day that started out well and I hoped this would be the first day in a while that would go by without any sadness - I guess, I was wrong. Do you remember one of my latest entries in which I said I would never take care of a bird again after the Pukeko died? I was actually quite serious about this - after all, my care only seems to kill the birds instead of doing them anything good. Yesterday, when I went to one of the pigeon lofts to feed some of the bird of my friend, I noticed that one of the little baby pigeons was missing. It had been a problem case before and my friend had to hand-feed it because the parents did not do a good job. When I went in last afternoon, only the bigger of the two babies was in the nest and my first thought was: "Oh no, he has killed it without saying a word!" But then I knew that my friend would not just kill that one and he had not been down in that loft since the morning. So I started searching for it and finally found the lit...

I thought that after over a month in a new place, it would be time to have a look at how my life has changed. One thing is already obvious: I am a lot busier than in Whanganui and life is not as easy. You might remember: in Whanganui, I used to get up reasonably early, did some writing work and also went to my courses at UCOL. I was busy but organized. In the evenings, I played computer games, read books or watched DVDs. It was not a perfect life but it was fairly easy. If I tell you that by now I still have not finished watching season 6 and 7 of my Voyager DVDs, you might already see that things are very different now! Yes, that comes from the person who was worried about running out of Voyager episodes too quickly! I also have not watched a single episode of Xena and did not play Skyrim! So what does my life look like now? How do I survive without games, Star Trek and Xena? An average weekday I try to get up as early as possible in the mornings, usually some time between 6 an...

For those of you who did not know this yet, I also have a more creative blog at  http://artist-wairua.blogspot.co.nz/  I do not post there very often because much of my creative stuff is hand-written and I did not get into typing it all up yet. But you might want to have a look.

Lucy After almost a month up here, it is time for a short entry about pigeons - a longer one will follow sooner or later. I have spent many hours with simply watching the birds and as you might know from previous entries: I learn a lot by simply watching birds. Going to the pigeon lofts also give me the peace and quiet I would not be able to find in other places. They give me a sense of peace when the rest of the world seems to be filled with chaos and negative energy. There's no need to explain to them why I would just like to sit with them, not saying a word. In a way, they are far more accepting than human beings - as most animals are! Sometimes I think that they understand more than people would expect. It's some kind of universal language and I'm sure they feel that I'm someone who means them no harm. I spend most of my pigeon watching time in the loft in which my little problem pigeon called Lucy (Lawless) is because she's precious to me and also comes u...

Gaby sleeping in my hand just a week ago The Pukeko did not make it. May it rest in peace and maybe it's lucky and is part of Michael's heavenly zoo.  He would have loved the bird.

Unfortunately, the Pukeko is not doing very well at the moment. Yesterday, I was sure he would die and I felt like I was the murderer - yes, people tell me not to blame myself, but who else would there be to blame? The bird came to me and I'm just not good at taking care of birds. I'm a bird watcher, not a bird care-taker. Thanks to my friend, the bird made it through the night - but he's still not eating (the bird, not the friend). Drinking lots of water with some good stuff in it - but the memory of Sam dying after he didn't eat for a whole day is still fresh in my memory. If that bird dies, I'll never take care of another bird again - I'm just killing them! Yesterday was a very hard day for me, emotionally - and I hate being emotional, esp. when there are other people around. I guess, it all just came together: the broken heart, the memory of dead Sam and the worries about the Pukeko. Right now, I wish I could just go into a forest and be alone -esp. in t...

Pukeko chick The people who know me personally, know that I am someone who loves watching birds and also talking to them every now and then. And you also know that Pukeko are my second favourite after seagulls. I never imagined, though, that I would one day have to be responsible for the life of a Pukeko chick. I found it a few days ago on a paddock on the farm - or rather, the Pukeko found me. So I picked it up, and now it's my responsibility to keep it alive - maybe even get it to the stage where it could be released back into the "wild". Maybe it's more a matter of the Pukeko keeping me alive instead of the other way around. My mood is horrible and if it wasn't for the birds (i.e. the pigeons, chicken and the Pukeko), I don't know what I would feel like. What a horrible place this planet would be if it was only filled with human beings!! I feel like it would be the right thing to do to hand the bird over to bird rescue - who would look after it when I...

Even though I have not written much here lately, I am still alive - but not as motivated when it comes to writing these days. That's a problem because writing is what I do. It is part of the essence of my soul - and I feel like I'm losing it. So, even though I feel like disappearing into a pigeon loft and spend time with Lucy (a very friendly pigeon) because she's the only one who really understands me (well, at least I like to pretend that she does), I will first write a little update for the very few regular readers that I have. I try to not let this turn into a too negative entry - but the last few days have shown (again) that life isn't fair at all. And that there is no friendly, bigger power that embraces us all. Why do I say so? Whatever that power is, it did not listen to any of my prayers - I could say what I wanted, I could offer what I wanted and I could put as much energy into it as I wanted - but that "God" or "Goddess" let a little chi...

I don't run around in a warrior's outfit and I do not own a Chakram. I also do not have someone like Gabrielle at my side - yet, I would like to be like Xena. Most people do not understand my passion for Xena - and most people also don't try to understand. They usually do not know much about the whole series and about how all the characters developed during the six seasons. But it doesn't matter. I'm used to not being understood - there's also hardly anyone who understands the meaning of either Michael Jackson or Captain Janeway in my life. It doesn't matter that much what people think. Even though Xena is just a fictional character, she had helped me a lot in life. And at the moment, it does me well to take on some of her attributes. In a way, what I learned from her and other characters, kept me going through many tough periods of my life. She taught me to be tough - to keep going when I feel like not going on at all anymore. She makes me take th...

After I have been so active during the last few weeks, you might be a little surprised to not get as many updates. As you have learned in the last posts, I was getting ready to move to somewhere else. The day of the move was only two days ago - yet it feels like a long time ago or maybe I'm in some kind of "shock-mode" that doesn't yet let me realize that I've really left " my " river. Yes, I can see a river from the house I live in now - but I hardly know anything about the Waikato river (and am not yet motivated to learn about its mythology etc.) and never touched its waters (even though I've been close enough to it a few times). This morning I told the two girls who live in the house here (10 and 12 years old) a bit about my canoeing trip on the Whanganui river - so at least I am able to talk about the river without having a nervous breakdown.... I really can't believe that yesterday only was my first full day here (of this stay). It's a...

Seagull feather In a few days, I will be moving to a different place - I will move away from the city I had thought could me my home and during the last three years, a lot of stuff has found its way into my flat. Of course, I could have kept everything - but I take this move as a chance to go through everything and only keep the things I need and the things I REALLY want to keep. And this made me think about the things that really matter to me and how different people are when it comes to belongings and their attachments to items. I am almost done with packing and in a couple of days, the furniture will also be gone. Today, I packed one of my most valuable possessions, something other people ignore when they see it lying on the streets or in the shallow waters on the beach: Feathers. Some people use them as decoration other people use them for weaving. I only collect them for their own sake. Simply because of their beauty and their meaning to me. I still remember the day when I f...